Self-esteem in the relationship of a couple

Appreciation of oneself is a matter “to achieve” for both women and men. Why? Because the mind we use is automatic and does not include self-assessment. This means that if we don't learn it, we won't value each other. Then we have to ask ourselves the question: What is self-esteem?I will offer you a definition that will lead us directly to the solution, to start a path to find solutions. Self-esteem is not to devalue, as clear as that... When we define self-esteem with general words such as “respect, love each other, be yourself, be consistent, etc.” that leads us to believe that we already have it, that we already do it... however, I will share —below - some examples of actions that show low self-esteem or personal devaluation.How do I know if I devalue myself?When life presents us with situations related to de-valorization it is an indication of this, it is in everyday life that we see concrete expression of our high or low self-esteem.

• A very concrete example of personal devaluation is “to allow the partner to make jokes with second intentions — mockery — towards us or a family member of ours.” This is a very common thing in couple relationships and we tend to minimize it..., however, it is a start and an indication of devaluation of both those who say it and those who receive the comment. Not allowing does not mean getting angry or arguing about the derision received, but expressing a limit that “says” that we do not support such verbalization. And less than less, get caught on the joke and return it...
• Another example is that some partner speaks to other people of their partner in a laughing tone, because of something that according to their own discretion the other does wrong, does not, cannot, does not, etc... Make negative comments about your partner talk about your own devaluation also since you are the one who has chosen that person you are now judging, even jokingly. What we are doing is devaluing our own choice and the chosen one.

Valuing is REMOVE everyday devaluation habits that not only show low self-esteem but deepen it in every action.